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Brightening the Dark Side of Online Dating

Updated: Oct 13, 2021

By Carly Sackellares, MSW

If you’ve dipped your toes into online dating, even for a brief moment, you know that the process is anything but easy. While most of us experience the lows, we may be hesitant to discuss them socially. I remember sensing the palpable tension that would fill a room when I ventured to express my online dating struggles with my friends and family. Some of them could understand. They, too, had tried internet dating and experienced the frustrations that accompany it. However, they had never found the answer for the dark times themselves and were at a loss for comforting words. Those who had never tried the platform couldn’t relate, and those who were also online dating seemed just as lost as me.

When I found Naked Online, everything changed. I finally had a resource that not only validated my experience but also provided a guide for how to make it less terrible and more fun. Within a few months, I had transformed my perspective on online dating, and it was working. I was meeting more compatible partners, had coping strategies for the hard times, and, to my surprise, was enjoying the process.

I am now passionate about spreading the word and helping others to navigate the complex world of online dating successfully. If you’ve found yourself immersed in the darkness of the process, I offer some tips to see the light again.

1. Art

The journaling pages at the end of each Naked Online chapter encourage artistic expression. Creating art was cathartic and transformative for my online dating journey. As a dating coach, I now understand why. Journaling with words, shapes, or colors allows for both self-expression and self-soothing. You self-express in the process of what ends up on the page. While choosing a color, holding the writing utensil, and even feeling the texture of the pages, you comfort yourself and help soothe intense emotions

2. Movement

As a Chi for Two® embodiment coach, I offer my clients Chi for Two moves they can tangibly use when things get dark or especially low. These moves allow them to observe, honor and soothe the parts of themselves that are having a difficult time with online dating and let their inner-parent/coach shine through.

3. Peer Support

As mentioned above, I struggled to find a sounding board for my online dating woes. I have too often heard similar stories from other online daters. That's why I decided to create my Mindful Online Dating Workshop. The group is a safe space for participants to navigate the vulnerable and overwhelming online dating experience with the added benefit of peer support. Shared stories create a playful experience, while shared emotions and coping strategies create a warm and supportive group environment.

You can purchase Naked Online here, register for my workshop here, and reach out for embodiment coaching here. You can reach me by email at or by phone at (678) 242-9519. I look forward to hearing from you.

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