The holidays are quite the season—a time for recharging, reflecting, and reconnecting. The buzz of it all can be invigorating but also challenging. Dating during this time adds complexity to an already busy season.
If you've recently started seeing someone, you may be wondering, “How do I navigate family gatherings and gift-giving?”
If you're feeling a deep longing for that special someone, you may hear a voice inside your head saying, "Should I even bother?".
If you feel this way, you're not alone. I'm here to answer the questions that may be swirling inside your head.
If you’re seeing someone…
1. How do I handle a gift exchange with a new partner?
When deciding whether or not to exchange gifts, how much to spend, or what to buy, I invite you to remember: Romantic dances trigger the unfinished infant/parent dances. In relationships, the kid part of us can feel that making a mistake is death. That makes it hard to stay playful.
2. Should I invite my new partner to family dinner?
Determining your readiness to take the next step in a relationship can be overwhelming. Having your partner meet your loved ones adds a new level of complexity to the relationship. The Chi for Two practice Ready Stance helps us prepare to handle potential interactions. I invite you to practice Ready Stance using Lustier Life Skill #3.
3. How can I keep the connection alive while my partner and I are apart?
While you’re away from a new partner, you might focus on Giving Space. See page 38 in Chapter 5 of Naked Online: A DoZen Ways to Grow from Internet Dating. After reading that section, you might want to go to the journal assignment and write or draw any thoughts or feelings you have.
If you’re single…
1. Should I continue going on first dates during the holidays?
If the voice inside your head says, "Why bother? I'm not EVER going to find ANYONE!"…you might recognize your inner-child speaking. As Chapter 10: Dealing with the Really Low, Discouraging, Disappointing, Awful, Terrible Times of Naked Online advises, you can give your inner-child a hug and then gently say, “Kid, I love you, but you’re not the one that’s supposed to be dating.”
2. How do I approach the dreaded questions from Aunt Sue about my relationship status?
It is helpful to consider your boundaries before entering an uncomfortable family situation. All of us have an energy sphere that surrounds us. If we can maintain our energetic skin in the presence of others, we can experience their energy without allowing their energy to interfere with our authentic being. Using the Chi for Two practice Hula Hoop helps us feel into our energetic skin and respond in a way that respects our boundaries.
3. How can I handle feelings of loneliness?
When we learn to soothe ourselves, we are less likely to look for someone else to soothe us. The Chi for Two practice Self-Hug invites self-soothing. You can notice the places in your body that yearn for warmth. You can notice whether a hand goes there—perhaps both hands.
Though self-soothing can be useful, it can always help to seek support from others. My Handling the Holidays Workshop provides a space for holiday daters to connect over shared experiences. The holidays are easier to handle with support from those who understand.
If you’re curious to learn more about my Handling the Holidays Workshop, you can reach out by email at carly@carlysackellares.com or phone at (678) 242-9519. I also offer individual coaching sessions for an initial fee of $55. I look forward to hearing from you!